circle of trying....

"Follow your heart" as society and life tells us to do. Does this mean if your heart is falling towards the darkest hole of pain it should continue? "If you let go of what you love, and they return they were always your." Is there a time limit on this so-called philosophy? Following my heart for 3 years has created more tears and anxiety than butterflies in my gut ever had. Perhaps the heart I am following is not mine, and perhaps the one I let go of was not mine either. Love has no scale of how much it weighs on one's heart, yet loneliness perhaps can consume one into insanity, or stupidity. A stupidity of ever believing the person you let go of will come back. If my heart had its way, I would have fallen over the edge already. Perhaps once I have written my life, my life will find the bottom to that edge. I am not waiting for a return from anyone, but for my heart to avenge the pain.