Tuesday, February 11, 2014
Does evey girl/woman have a Tristen? Is every heart hopeless as Suzanna? Is her heart really alive when her love anticipates a dead end? I watched Legends of the Fall for the first time in years and once again it put me in a slumber. Yes, I allow movies to kidnapp me, or perhaps I surrender to them to wallow? Oh Suzanna! I feel her wait, her pain and even her suicide. If someone has ever loved past the blood in their veins, they will understand this excruiating emptiness of loss. Why does rejection hurt more than acception? Why can't we accept and move on? Physically we do. We love again, we move on, but do we truly live? To live with a empty vein is a cardiac arrest of the mind. To live without love at all is sorrow. To live without the "one" is torment. To love the unreciprocate is my red-veined sorrow.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Who is that blond girl, perched in the stamen tree? She sits and salts her apples, red, yellow and green. Why is she hiding on the highest branch? If she climbs any higher her dad will have her ass. Does she care to be caught in the skinniest of limbs? She is ten and pretty, Safe in the tree's wind. Did she ever fall for that biggest fruit? Apples saved her sanity and climbing saved her fall.
Monday, December 16, 2013
The time that I grew up in. Wait! I sound old or like my parents saying this. I suppose any time is a different time if it is not the present. Moving on. I was born at the very end 1976. I do not remember much until the 80's. My parents married as virgins, at least my mom did, dad not so sure. I would like to think so considering his preaching on no sex before marriage. Rambling again! Anyway! In my era, my parents did not believe in dating until I was eighteen, or wearing red or pants and sleeveless shirts. Thank god for the boys looking up my oldest sister's skirt in Christain school, or I would have had to wear dresses and skirts forever. The wearing red? I get it now. Although it is just a color, it held more meaning to my dad. Red used to represent wild or slutty. Prostitutes used to turn the red light outside their door when they were "open". I loved red. I guess it made me feel like a girl. I was not allowed to buy red lipstick or red nail color. My dad said it made me look wild. My mom said it was a whore color. No wonder I became a stripper! Well, I always found a way around things, as all children do. I painted my nails with red water color and painted over with clear polish. It worked. I didn't buy it. I used the same color on my lips, topping it off with a gloss. Yep, I improvised. Shorts and tank tops were a big no-no as well. My dad would make us bend over with our jeans to see if he could pinch an inch of the material. If not, we had to go change. I am pretty sure my mom burned some of our clothes. Just saying. Shorts? I would not call them that, they were more like bermuda shorts or gouchos in our house. They could not be above the knee, shorts or skirts.I found a way to wear them shorter. For the record, I started the jean shorts/skirts with tights. Yes I did! See, my parents did not want skin showing, so I did not show it! Some things had to be hidden though. After a while, I simply wore layers and changed once I left the house. It was less of a battle trying to jusify my right to bare/unbare clothes. As for dating, that is another story. Put it this way...I could not date until I was eighteen. I was pregnant and married at sixteen.
Tuesday, December 10, 2013
When my alarm opens my sleep and I have to brush my teeth, you stalk me with your words the moment I see my face. You never show me beautiful or give me a pretty day. You paint a wrinkled picture and tell me I am old. You give me fat I don't see, when I look down at my toes. I am not this monster who stalks me each morning I brush my teeth. You magnify my hips and add inches to my curves. You accentuate my thinking dent, that worries all my woes. My curves own me, my face is not for sale, beauty reflects my security so shine You inner worth!