Burdened By Selfish Others

As I fold shirts for the gazillionth time, I wonder, "Is this my life?" Or when I serve my other millionth guest, "Is this my life?" I feel I have spent my life doing for others, time and time again. Oh my fucking god! What about me? Am I having a selfish moment? Damn right I am! I work and work. I provide for my daughters, try to do a good job at work, try to keep peace with people I don't want to anymore. Why do I try sometimes? If this is all life's about is stress, I don't want it! Not life it is, but this stress. I know life is not perfect, but if other people would actually give a shit about someone besides themselves, perhaps there would be less people like me. People like me who wonder will I have rent, or food for my kid. I want to worry about my kid being able to take classes and sports, not whether I will have a roof for them or food. I don't want to be rich, but I sure as hell don't want to count pennies for rent. My life is not a burden, nor my children, but the selfish act of others who could have helped prevent the struggle I encounter. There is no changing people, I can't change how I feel...but jeez when do people open their eyes and see how damn selfish they are. I don't want pity, I don't want hand-outs. I want what all people want, fairness, kindness and fess up when you have been useless and make yourself useful for once. I am only saying what many want to say. I feel this way about many people in my life. I don't hate them, but I will always wonder why. Why do some people bend over backwards for their friends, yet family comes last. You all know who you are...remember karma is everyone's friend. Karma never gives up...she is the gift that keeps on giving.